Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

What is the most gay experience with your dad?

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Was Jesus Christ Jewish?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How was your JEE Advanced 2024 result?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

Who is the most trusted person in your life, and do they have the same trust on you?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

How do I come out as queer to my best friend in a funny and stupid way?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t cotton to rapists

I actually pay taxes

‘Gas station heroin’ is technically illegal and widely available. Here are the facts - WANE 15

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Her Estranged Mother Caused Her Years Of Pain, So When Her Mother Reached Out About A Kidney Transplant, She’s Left With A Difficult Choice - TwistedSifter

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

What are some common lies that addicts may tell themselves?

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

What is the sum of X+XX+XXX+XXXX?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I see through liars

I can count

Is the Philippines PH a poor 3rd world or 4th world country forever and forever?

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Can you explain the ongoing conflict between Palestine and Israel? Why does it appear that Israel has been more successful in the conflict?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I can read

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t buy bullshit